This is the only city where you actually have to say things like, Hey, thats mine. 112. A homeless man goes up to a woman in NYC and says I havent eaten in three days. She instantly says, where do you get that kind of self-control? Why not brag? Because New York got to pick first. There are so many people in this city, so much happening, that its impossible to tell if your apartment is haunted. How do the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges communicate? He hates New York. Steven Wright, I live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, which is a very hip, cool neighborhood in New York. All over Manhattan, large families have become a status symbol. New York now leads the worlds great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldnt make a sudden move., 46. subway It will be called: How I killed your Grandmother, What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours? Some are so bad/cringeworthy that theyre actually really good. Follow the path south until you smell sh*t and west until you step in it., 11. I hope you share my sense of humor. Why is The Wave banned in the Carrier Dome? Ive been living in the city for 15 years; I have no idea where the train is going. 71. Both states become smarter! 104. The end. Wyatt Cenac, In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent, quick decision that you have to make about every 20 minutes. Because while New York City is amazing, its definitely not perfect. But the best/worst/best again part of Hollywood is the nonstop parade of delusion you get to see Right now there are a million people in Hollywood who are all going to make it. David Cross, I love Los Angeles. A single tower fell in Paris., 107. Cant be the animal that makes that noise. I love New York. Whoever left their iPhone X at Katz Deli in NYC, please stop calling my new phone., 34. But look at him, hes wearing orange footie pajamas and hes got tinfoil on his head and hes playing a Casio! David Cross, Theyve got homeless guys everywhere you look. 12. Dont surprise me on Brooklyn bridge. Looked exactly like Spalding Gray. 22. What prevented Jesus from being born in New York? They bought their team, they spent the most money, theyre supposed to win If youre going to be some fucking bloat-headed alcoholic, drinking overpriced beer in the stands and paying too much money for parking, have some character, pick an underdog. I moved to New York City for my health. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Web1. 73. But theres no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving. Craig Ferguson, You dont really drive in cabs in L.A. unless youre broke or homeless or if youre broke and driving the cab. Jay Mohr, Beverly Hills is very exclusive. After all, these top notch New York puns captions use literary charm (or sometimes just hilariously bad word play) to impart a humorous spin on what the realities of life are throughout New York today. Youll a lot of times see headlines that are like, Hero Tutor Teaches After School, and youre like, Yeah. Down towards the bottom of the spectrum, there are pervs. 97 Funny Wine Jokes Only Wine Lovers Will Understand! 52. Well here are things that you should learn and can joke about the locals. You\'ll receive the next newsletter in your inbox. Seven and a half million of those stories are just excuses why people didnt vote for mayor.
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